The Amazing Influence of Belief

People become really quite remarkable when they start thinking that they can do things. When they believe in themselves, they have the first secret of success.
—Norman Vincent Peale
The first step to believing in ourselves often comes from having others believe in us. Expressing our faith in others becomes a remarkable tool when it positively affects how they see themselves.

It might surprise some to know that as a boy I was frequently in trouble. Periodically, my mother made her way into my room just before bedtime, and as I listened to her footsteps get closer, I’d quickly run through a long list of my misdeeds from the week, wondering who’d reported me. Yet in spite of my mischievous ways, rather than criticize me, my mother always took the time to tell me how proud she was of me—how pleased she was that I didn’t join in many of the unbecoming activities my friends engaged in, like drinking and smoking (some of which I did!).

My loving mother always had a higher opinion of me than I deserved; she thought I was better than I actually was. She believed that I couldn’t possibly have done many of the things that in fact I had done.

Did I strive to live up to her trust in me? Well, yes, I did. Did I fall short? Oh yes. Many times. But did I retain her high esteem? Amazingly, yes; that I always managed to do, and I’m certain I’m a better person because of her unwavering trust.

Shortly before I left for Vietnam, I had a long conversation with my mother. I remember telling her that I really possessed no special skills. She disagreed, saying she thought my greatest strength was my ability to get along with people. She told me she had read somewhere that the primary reason most people were fired was not incompetence, but their inability to work well with others.

At the time, I reflected on her comments and realized that I had enjoyed many favors and opportunities from coworkers and managers simply because they seemed to like me. I concluded, however, that this strength might not help me in Vietnam. My ability to get along wouldn’t keep the enemy from shooting me.

I now believe it did play a role in my survival. The ability to function successfully as a team often comes down to the interpersonal skills of the members, particularly the leaders. While I couldn’t convince the enemy not to shoot, I was fortunate enough to lead a team that protected each member. My mother, in helping me realize my strengths, inspired me to use my skills to build a healthy team environment.

We all need advocates who believe in us. Supportive friends and mentors are essential to success in life and work. Because an important step in believing in ourselves often comes from having others believe in us, we have an opportunity to uplift others. When we take the time to express faith in others, we can help them expand their opinions of themselves, which in turn will affect their performance and productivity.

“The Amazing Influence of Belief” adapted by Ken Futch from the book Take Your Best Shot: Turning
Situations Into Opportunities, by Ken Futch, Copyright© 2005, all rights reserved.